took the paintings to town

Today I took the 4 portraits Wes and I have done, plus 5 of the co-paintings I did with Sal. I showed them to Jeff, over at his housesitting place. I showed them to my whole program manager team at our staff meeting. I showed them to Jim, my therapist. They had the same effect everywhere: a hush, followed by a long absorbed gazing. When I put them away, it was like taking light out of the room.

The wildest, for me, was showing them at my PM meeting. I set the paintings against one wall, one row on the whiteboard, one row on the floor. It was like sending an electric shock through the room. Their faces softened and opened, and they stared. When the site team came in for the meeting afterward, the same thing happened again -- they all stopped, stared, and couldn't stop asking questions. It was like they were drugged. They couldn't look away.

It is incredible to send that kind of lightning-bolt stimulus into people. It is a measure of the quality of these paintings, and their unconsciousness, that people are so struck.

After the PM meeting, I had gotten time with Linh to learn how to do the kind of game I'm doing next. "Hey," I said, thinking of the co-painting. "Let's draw a co-mind-map." I spread a big piece of butcher paper on my art table, and for half an hour we drew all the areas of my upcoming game that a PM would worry about. We drew at the same time; we drew on each other's areas; we linked to each other's. "We need a bigger paper," she said at the end. "I've got more paper, I'll book us again," I said.

It is amazing how much I learned from her. I have been getting braindumps and reading docs, but this was SO much better. So clear, so fast. I pinned it up on my wall.

This is another way I am integrating my life. Instead of keeping art over HERE... and work way over HERE... I am starting to let them mix together.

ochre and turquoise
on the same brush -- brilliant green,
streaked and buttery

Speaking of portraits, you should see Radmila's. When she is ready to share her paintings, I'll post a link. When I see her portraits, I stare. And stare. And stare. She is working in black and white, and their power is incredible.

What I really want to say is, I miss the people at work. I wish I knew them like I know actors. After even 3 hours, I know actors better than I know work people in a year. I feel like I am drinking dust, wading in dust, breathing dust, when I don't know the people around me and they don't know me. So, taking the diamond cutter's advice, I am starting the change by revealing myself.